Death...again

Two weeks ago I received a phone call from one of the youth pastors that we volunteer with. He asked me if I knew a certain girl in our ministry and if I could call her. On Memorial Day her ex-boyfriend, that she had dated for a year, committed suicide. I have had limited interactions with this student, but enough to make the call.

We talked for about 10 minutes and several things she said made me want to meet with her in person. I always feel so inadequate in these situations. It gives me a VERY small glimpse into how Moses felt when God asked him to lead His people out of Egypt. I always think, "I don't know what to say... I've never dealt with this... This girl doesn't really know me and I don't really know her why would she talk to me..." and on and on. But God always reminds me that I don't have to say the right thing, as a matter of fact I shouldn't say much at all. Listening is a much better approach.

So the past few weeks I've had several interactions with this sweet student. We've had coffee, talked on the phone, text each other, and met with a pastor on staff. Last night was her ex-boyfriend's memorial service. I went to support her and figured several of our other students would be there, and they were.

I did not know this young man, but as they played a video of pictures of him I thought of several things. Pictures of his young childhood years reminded me of pictures I have of my own girls... chunky babies on the couch, toddlers wearing some sort of Disney outfit, little kids in the snow or on the beach. I hope I never have to put together a video like that of my little girl's pictures.

I also thought that these pictures were supposed to be used for a wedding video. The joining of two lives, laughing at silly baby pictures, toddlers swimming naked, ugly duckling tween years, etc. But again, no. They were for a funeral. For a young man who could not comprehend his future and so he took his own life.

And to top it off I missed Amelia's canned food drive to attend this service. I missed a moment I wanted to experience because God called me to a sad, somber, tear filled, painful memorial. Thankfully my little girl understood why I could not be with her. "Funeral's are important mom, I'll show you the stuff when you get home." And her first question this morning since I got home after she went to bed, "How was the funeral? Are you doing OK?"

None of this was about me, but God used all of it to teach me lots of lessons. I find He does that frequently. Lessons about love, loss, compassion, relying on Him for His wisdom, and affirmation that my little girl is growing into a woman after God's own heart.

So I truly hope that we are finished with death for at least a little bit, and I'm grateful that we have God's solid rock to stand on to give us a hope and a future.